Andy and Fred sat on a sofa and, much to my chagrin, fell into an amazingly melodramatic fight. It began almost accidently, when Fred mentioned that he had caught Brigid slipping Scotch into her coffee that morning. Andy said that he had caught Averil Meyer swigging tequila from a bottle that afternoon. 'We shouldn't have any more liquor at the office,' he declared.
'And then what do we do when somebody grand comes down for lunch and asks for a drink?' Fred countered.
'Listen Fred, said Andy. 'Bob can't drink. Brigid's in A.A., and now Ronnie's gong too. And if the liquor's there, they'll drink it.'
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was he putting on an act for the embassy audience? Whatever it was, Fred wasn't falling for it. He accused Andy of being more concerned with the Factory liquor bills than the Factory drinking problems.
'I am not, Fred! How dare you say that. I just don't want the kids turning into alcoholics. How can you say I'm just being cheap? I'm not cheap.'
'What about the constant complaining about the phone bills?'
'I never complain about the phone bill!'
'You never shut up about it as a matter of fact, Andy. I'm the one who has to listen to you go on and on and on and... You drive me crazy about every single cent Jed spends!'
'I do not!'
You're alway telling me his bills are twice as much as they really are! How many times have you done that? HOW MANY TIMES, ANDY!' Fred was screaming now.
'I don't have to listen to this,' Andy huffed, getting up and going into the other room.
Fred broke down. 'Andy and Jed are driving me crazy,' he told me. 'And what thanks do I get? They both hate me now, just because I try to mediate.' He stood up. I just can't stand it anymore!' And walked out of the room too. We were exiting from the Caviar Club in style.
The next day, Andy completely forgot about banning booze at the Factory, Ayatollah-style." (BC427-8)